Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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