What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
