Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it hurts more in the daytime
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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