is your mom at the bar?
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
