I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
