But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
