I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
