It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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