She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
