Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
