My pussy is not your playground.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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