why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
