ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
