My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
