ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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