It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
