I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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