I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
