Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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