you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
