he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need a beard to bite.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
