I think i peed on brittanys purse
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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