He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
