When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
