I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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