i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
