you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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