Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
