Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
