He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
