I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
