none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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