thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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