I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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