:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
