Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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