I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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