do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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