dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just google imaged poop.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
