Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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