new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i out mim tonsoeep
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