I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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