I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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