yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
