can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
