He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
