do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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