I'm eating all of the evidence.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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