It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
