is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
