you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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