i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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