I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
