3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
