And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Randomize
