Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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