if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
