I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
