You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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