her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
