Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
