I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
