OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
