similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
