We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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